Lately, it feels like the world is against me. Whatever I do seems to result in failure: whether it be parenting, job-hunting, writing, or self-care. Anxiety and stress are my constant companions, and I sometimes wonder how I don’t just give up.
Goddess knows there have been times I wanted it all to stop. But something always keeps me holding on, moving forward, and grinding harder. Honestly, it’s hard to put my finger on what keeps me going.
Certainly, my child is a significant factor. After all, as a single mom, I’m all she’s got. Add to that her special needs, making it even more crucial that I persevere when it all gets dark.
So what is it?
It comes to me as I sit and analyze my thoughts and feelings. I somehow ALWAYS find the tiniest glimmer of hope. Whether that looks like a new idea to make money, a day spent saying FUCK IT to the rules and just playing and connecting emotionally with my daughter, or just sitting outside and listening to the wind.
I’ve always found hope when I needed it. Sometimes it came to me in disguise, but I always recognized it. How can you find hope? Here’s what worked for me.
Source: Pexels
1. Embrace Failure: It’s Not the End, It’s Just a New Beginning
As a lifelong figure skater and coach, I’m no stranger to failure. But here’s the truth – I’m not afraid to fail. I’ve fallen and failed at learning new skills more times than I can count – literally thousands of times.
But each fall has only made me stronger. Remember, it doesn’t matter that you fall; what truly matters is that you get back up.
2. Perfection is Overrated: Let it Go
I’ve learned to let go of being perfect. For ages, I felt I needed to be the ideal coach, friend, mom, and person. If I’m honest, I still hold myself to that standard at times before I catch myself.
Perfectionism is a trap that prevents us from making progress. It can make us scared to try new things and keep us stuck in our comfort zones. Don’t let the idea of perfection hold you back. Embrace your flaws; they make you uniquely you!
3. Understanding Your Feelings: Your Emotions Are Your Guide, Not Your Enemy
As women in the workplace – and, let’s face it, the world – we’ve been conditioned to believe showing or even acknowledging our emotions are a sign of weakness. I think our emotions make us more self-aware and more resilient.
Your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to understand and manage them so you can use them to your advantage. I’ve learned to sit with my feelings instead of running from them. This helps me understand what’s going on inside, and from there, I can find ways to deal with it.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
I know, I know. Self-care, blah, blah, blah. Take time for yourself, blah, blah, blah. I get it. As a single mom fighting every day just to put food on the table, I’m supposed to find time for a bubble bath somehow? Think smaller.
Taking time for self-care can often feel selfish, but you must make it non-negotiable. Even small things like listening to an audiobook as you do the dishes, watching Vanderpump Rules and doing laundry and housework during commercials – OMG SCANDOVAL!!! – or walking in nature for 5 minutes can help recharge our batteries and renew our hope. Plus, let’s keep it real, if Vanderpump Rules doesn’t make you feel better about your life choices right now, nothing will.
5. Seek Support: You Don’t Have To Do It Alone
Reach out to people who understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or a supportive online community, don’t hesitate to seek help. You’re not alone in this journey.
Remember, your story isn’t over yet. There’s always a new chapter to be written. So, hold on to that glimmer of hope and keep moving forward because you’re stronger than you think.
For inspiration and motivational content, check out my website, named after my kiddo, BellaZinga, for on-demand printables and clothing. You can follow my blog at MomCoachBoss, or subscribe to my YouTube channel, JWCoach4Life. (Just don’t hold my bad hair days against me!)
We’re all in this together; keep the faith and never give up.
If you or anyone you love is struggling or thinking about suicide, there are great resources here:
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html
Please feel free to share your stories of inspiration in the comments!
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