BellaZinga.Blog

Author: Jill Wismer

  • Where Did I Go? Psychological Effects of Being a Single Mother

    Back in Februrary, a commercial for Go RVing Canada appeared on our screens, prompting people to “Find their wildhood.” I’m sure you’ve seen the spot, but in case you haven’t, you can check it out for yourselves.

    The story tells of a man searching for more than the stressful, monotonous, grind of our modern existence. After leaving work one day he’s had enough, and breaks. Instead of stepping onto the subway, he runs – as far and as fast as he can. As he does, he slowly divests himself of the trappings of our modern life, eventually finding himself in the wilderness.

    Finally, our hero stumbles across a campfire, and through the flames he sees a shadowy figure. He gives chase, culminating in a leap of faith by following the figure off a cliff, and splashing down into the cool, baptismal waters of a mountain lake. As he emerges, the man realizes he’s been chasing himself; perhaps the person he used to be, and most certainly the person he wants to be now.

    As I sat watching the commercial that first time (and if I’m being honest, all subsequent times), I was overcome by emotions so raw and a realization so great I didn’t know how to cope. Instead, I sobbed quietly into my hands, hoping my daughter wouldn’t walk into the room and see me devolving. Even while writing these words, I have to take breaks to pull myself together, because the message stirs something so deep, so broken, and so personal I find it difficult to share my thoughts.

    By speaking these these thoughts out loud there is no turning back. I’m exposing all the ugly bits of myself – and what it’s like to be a single mother – to the world, and likely inviting more than a few trolls to take some shots.

    In the end, it’s more important that I am open, vulnerable, and real with my readers, so here goes.

    Single Mom Sacrifice

    When I watch that commercial, I realize how much I have lost myself in my nearly twelve years of single parenthood. True, I knew I had sacrificed much by focusing on my child and her needs over my own, but I hadn’t realized the extent of it until I saw that man, in that lake, finally reaquainting himself with a healthier, happier version of himself.

    The truth is, I don’t know how I got here, or even how I could have done anything differently. As a single mom, it’s an understatement to say life is hard. It seems like you are never doing enough, working hard enough, juggling fast enough, being patient enough, etc.

    In short, I feel like I am never enough.

    Source: Pexels

    Now add to it the fact that my kiddo is autistic and has ADHD. For those of you that have neurodivergent children, you get it. For those of you that don’t…you’ll never get it until you live it.

    Suffice to say, I’ve dedicated every ounce of my energy into ensuring my daughter receives the diagnoses, supports, counseling, medication, IEPs, strategies, and time with me she needs to be successful.

    Everything else – and I mean everything – has gone on the backburner.

    Being the Sole Provider

    Of course, when it somes to finances, I’m it. It’s up to momma to bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan. (my kiddo loves bacon) But try to make any career work around:

    • Appointments
    • Meltdowns
    • After-school activities that are necessary for her social, emotional, and physical health
    • School avoidance behviours and constant calls to pick her up early
    • Physical symptoms of anxiety like constant stomach aches and headaches
    • Pathological demand avoidance
    • Poor executive function
    • Bullying and social issues with other children, etc.

    Go ahead. Find a job that will allow you to work and still navigate that. I dare you. In fact, if anyone can tell me how to survive financially as a single mother, I’m all ears. Screw survive, I want to know how to thrive.

    As I said before, it’s never enough. I’m never enough. There’s never enough time. There’s never enough money. But all the while I have to be the one to put on a brave face. To bolster her. To be patient for her. To never go out so I don’t spend money on sitters so I can afford her activities. To scrimp on dental care when I need it because I don’t have benefits and I need to make sure I can afford her braces. (My teeth still look great and my breath is minty fresh btw)

    The end result is I don’t fucking recognize myself. I’ve let myself go. Most days, I look old, defeated and tired. Half the time I don’t have any energy.

    I’m just now weaning myelf off my latest round of anti-depressants and anxiety meds for the panic attacks I was having dealing with the stress of trying to find a job that would work with our lifestyle needs and somehow pull us out of poverty. Not to mention the daily trauma of school avoidance meltdowns that were dominating our lives.

    Body Image Takes a Hit

    And I’m fat.There, I said it. Me, who used to be so athletic. Fuck, I used to live in the Rocky Mountains and run up them on a daily basis. My abs were so tight you could bounce a quarter off them, and I loved my legs. I was so sleek, and sexy, and loved dressing up in heels and painting the town.

    Now I can’t stand to look at myself. It’s not like I’m drastically overweight, and as a friend of mine told me recently, I actually look like an average person, but when you spend the better part of your life being an athlete, it’s hard to adapt to a new curvier self.

    Intellectually, I know it’s not my fault. I know part of this is getting older – hello perimenopause – not to mention the good ol’ stress hormone cortisol doing it’s nasty work. But I still blame myself for not fitting the picture of what I should look like, particularly when I compare it to how healthy I used to be.

    Then there’s dating, or rather the lack of it. Between trying to find the time or energy to date, and feeling confident about my body and how I look, it seems like a lost cause. And don’t even talk to me about sex. It’s literally been years for me, and I feel about as sexy as a can of Drano right now.

    Source: Pexels

    Single Parenting is a Lonely Job

    But you know what I miss above all else? I miss having someone to help me make decisions – because it’s always all me shouldering the load. I miss holding someone’s hand, or crawling into someone’s lap and just being held and someone for once telling me that it will be alright, instead of me always being the one doing the reassuring.

    It’s so hard not to be bitter and resentful of those people with significant others who provide for them. Who have the option to stay home and look after their kids and still live a life that’s not mired in stress. I almost laugh when women complain about their spouses when they forget to take out the garbage, or are away from home for too long with work.

    To even have had one night a week where a spouse or partner drove my kid to their activities, or paid for groceries, would make a world of difference.

    I don’t know who I am anymore. Or rather, I don’t know where the old “me” went. Mentally, I know I need to love my body for how it carries me through the world. And I’m the first one to preach body positivity and acceptance to my daughter and anyone else, so I don’t know why I can’t love myself regardless of my size.

    But it just seems like everything is stacked against me. I try to focus on the little things to get me through, like the accomplishments or hurdles my kiddo overcomes. But again, it’s all about her. Somehow, my wants, my dreams, and my needs are lost in the mix.

    Not because I’m choosing to ignore myself, but I’m just trying to survive and provide.

    This is the Dirty Secret of Single Parenting

    And that’s why this fucking commercial hits so hard. I want to meet myself again, and love myself again. I just don’t know how I can make it happen.

    This is the dark side of single parenting no one will talk about. The angry, defeated, bitter side I see so many mothers unleashing in social media support groups.

    All this might make you think I resent my child. I don’t. I love my child beyond measure, and show up for her every. single. day. to the best of my ability.

    But there is nothing left for me after that.

    So. What’s to be done? How can I find my way back to who I used to be? Or at least to the best version of myself now.

    I don’t have the answers. The whole “self-care” myth is a crock of shit. And I’ve even written blogs about how to carve out time for it! (Colour me cynical and hypocritical) Let’s be honest, if I don’t have time to have a shower or put on make-up, I’m not going to be able to find time for much else. For some of us, there is simply no time, or money for self-care.

    What I do know is I’m a fighter. So I’ve spent this weekend applying for jobs (like I’ve been doing on the daily for months) to help me finanically. I’ve been steadily working up my online presence for my new business venture in hopes of creating a passive income to help lighten the load.

    I’m continuing my role as a content writer, and doing my best to search out new prospects.

    I even splurged for a hair cut (First Choice Haircutters of course, I can’t afford a stylist) because it’s been over six months and I needed a trim.

    All I can do is take it one hour, one day at a time. Maybe eventually I’ll find my “wildhood” again. Who knows, maybe I just need to get laid. (don’t gasp, I know you’re thinking it.)

    So share with me your struggles about being a single mother. Or maybe struggling with body image issues. Or dating as an older woman?

    Let’s put it all out there and support each other.

    Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t have to go RVing to find our “wildhoods.”

    If you like my writing, subscribe, like, comment and share.

    And don’t forget to check out my new biz at BellaZinga.com, where we promote the inclusion, awareness, acceptance, and celebration of neurodiversity.

    Subscribe to my blog here!

  • A Dance Recital Like No Other

    A Dance Recital Like No Other

    Last weekend my daughter danced in her studio’s end-of-the-year recital. The show was a success, full of the usual suspects; seasoned performers hip-hopping their way to fame, teeny-weenies out for their dance debut loaded with sparkles and wide-eyed anticipation, and budding street dancers learning the breakdance ropes. 

    While all of these regular recital occurrences are heart-warming, what got me in the “feels” was that I got to watch the entire thing from the audience. 

    This may sound odd, given that my little dancer is not so little anymore. In fact, at nearly twelve, she’s taller than most grown women. And you’re likely now thinking that I’m a total helicopter mom, hovering like there’s no tomorrow, too afraid to cut the apron strings and let my daughter look after herself.

    While that may be true, there’s also another factor to consider. You see, my daughter is neurodivergent; she has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. This means that she is quirky, beautiful and (in my humble opinion) fucking brilliant. 

    It also means she has significant challenges in places and at events that you and your neurotypical kiddos likely take for granted.

    I won’t ever take something like watching a dance recital from the audience for granted again. I’ll tell you why.

    Source: Unsplash

    The Extra Steps of Autism

    My daughter doesn’t look any different than your average tween. Given that she is considered Level 1 ASD (formerly known as Aspergers), nothing would cue you that she is any different from a neurotypical child. 

    This is why so many parents of kids on the spectrum get the side-eye, eye-rolls, and just about any other eye-related behaviour from other parents, teachers, doctors, etc. 

    No two children on the spectrum are the same, but let me share with you some of the challenges my daughter has had to overcome in her dance career.

    Motor Difficulties

    You know how kids can effortlessly tie their shoes or change outfits like they’re in a backstage dressing room of a Broadway show? Well, that’s not exactly a walk in the park for my kiddo. 

    With her motor skills functioning a little differently, quickly tying tap shoes or changing sparkly leotards might as well be an Olympic event. And let’s not forget the actual dance numbers. 

    With balance and coordination playing a cheeky game of hide-and-seek, the challenge of mastering those intricate steps is on another level.

    Issues with Working Memory

    Ever tried to keep track of multiple dance numbers, their order, and the steps for each in your head? My daughter tackles this challenge head-on every time she steps onto that stage. 

    Prioritizing tasks and decision-making are like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded. The struggle with working memory is real y’all.

    Executive Function Challenges 

    Imagine having a long list of instructions, each more complex than the last. Sound overwhelming? Now, think about how it feels when every day is filled with these lists and not having a freaking clue where to begin or how to put the required steps in order?

    That’s the reality for children like my daughter. Delayed executive function development is like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle with missing pieces. Is it any wonder they get frustrated and lose their shit?

    Emotional Dysregulation

    Feelings for my daughter are like waves during a storm, overwhelming and unpredictable. Her emotions are big, bold, and often challenging to rein in. It’s like riding a roller coaster without a safety bar, thrilling but also a little scary.

    The hardest part as her parent is to watch the shame and guilt play across her features once she has calmed down and realized what she said and did while she was struggling for control. 

    Even though my kiddo is starting to realize that when she gets overwhelmed, her frontal lobe is not in control, and she is in the clutches of her amygdala and the dreaded fight/flight/freeze/fawn (although there is a strong argument for using “feign” instead of fawn) response cycle, she still feels bad about her behaviour after the fact.

    Sensory Sensitivities

    Imagine being at a rock concert, but the music’s too loud, the lights are too bright, and the crowd’s too much. Now, try picturing that every time you’re in a room full of kids or under fluorescent lighting. 

    That’s what my daughter deals with — a world where sounds, smells, and sights can be as piercing as a siren’s call. Because she perceives the world differently and often more intensely, she can experience these sensations as discomfort and even pain.

    Now see yourself at a dance competition or recital, packed together in a dressing room with hundreds of other dancers, all anxious and excited. The steady drum of chatter, shouting, crying, and music would be enough to drive a neurotypical person to drink, let alone someone who’s conditioned to perceive these stimuli as threats! (To clarify, I don’t let my daughter drink…so don’t come for me!)

    Problems Reading Social Cues

    Reading social cues for my daughter is like deciphering hieroglyphics without a Rosetta Stone. It’s tough not knowing how to fit into the social puzzle, feeling isolated in a room full of chattering children. 

    But thank the goddess for our dance studio. Through careful attention to fostering a climate and culture of family and inclusion, they have helped my daughter fit in every step of the way. I wish I could say the same for our previous studio, but that’s another story for another time. (And perhaps that aforementioned drink)

    Triumph in the Dressing Room

    Usually, I am my daughter’s special assistant in the dressing room. My job is to make sure she can navigate quick changes, take a sensory break if necessary, calm her in case of overwhelming nervousness to prevent meltdowns and help her navigate the environment and pressure around her.

    I always ask my kiddo if she wants me there with her in the dressing room or if she’d like to try it on her own, as I’m trying to foster independence and push her boundaries, but I want her to feel ready for it.

    So I wasn’t surprised when she asked me to be her special dressing room assistant once again. 

    I don’t mind this, but the fact is, it is usually only my daughter and me at these events. So when I’m below in a dressing room, I am not in the audience to hoot, holler, yell, and clap for her when she’s onstage. And that means she has no one in the audience to do that for her. 

    As you can imagine, for an only child who seldom sees her father and sees ALL the other families full of siblings and relatives attending, this is hard for both of us.

    Still, I was prepared. I’d created extra lists for my l’il dancer with the order of her numbers, all carefully highlighted. I’d labelled each of her dance bags carefully, even crafting numbers to hang on each hanger so it would be easier to see which one was next.

    I’d done all the things necessary to ensure a seamless experience. I’d packed all my kiddo’s sensory stuff, like headphones, earbuds, fidget spinners, a tablet and a charger, not to mention a cell phone. You name it; we were ready.

    Then, suddenly, as we were setting her bag up in her designated space, my daughter shot me an “I’m so embarrassed my mom is here look” and started shooing me away.

    I have to admit. I froze, unsure if I was actually seeing what I thought I was. 

    Sure enough, my daughter wanted me to leave her alone so she could hang with her dance friends. When I asked if she could handle the quick changes, she said she could, and I should leave her alone.

    Source: Pexels

    A New Perspective: Joining the Audience

    I just about cried. Partly, if I’m being honest, because this was a huge hurdle, and it meant my baby was growing up, which is difficult for every mama bear, neurodivergent or neurotypical alike.

    But partly because of the overwhelming sense of relief and freedom to sit and enjoy myself at a function. Whether it was a family dinner, a holiday gathering, a school assembly, or a dance recital, I had yet been unable to do this.

    I don’t think you can understand how it feels to always be alone when you’re the parent of a kiddo on the spectrum. Because your child is more, needs more, and demands more, you have to give more, be available more, be more organized, be more prepared, be more calm…I think you get the picture.

    This sense of being an uber parent is not conducive to sitting and having a cocktail at a dinner party, socializing with family at a Christmas get-together, or watching your daughter shine onstage at dance recitals.

    Until last week.

    And shine, she did. Although it was hard to see from the tears in my eyes. (I’m not crying, you’re crying)

    Parenting on the Spectrum Means You Celebrate the Ordinary Moments as if They Were Extraordinary

    My daughter did it on her own, and I couldn’t be prouder. You see, for parents like me, we don’t just celebrate the recitals or awards. We celebrate the moments when our children prove to the world, and more importantly to themselves, that they are so much more than a label.

    We celebrate when they show their strength and resilience in the face of adversity and face the challenges of a world that can be overwhelmingly stacked against them.

    So yes, I won’t ever take something like watching a dance recital from the audience for granted again. Not because it’s a luxury but because it’s a testament to the beautiful, quirky, brilliant girl my daughter has become. And how damn proud I am of her.

    If you want to share some ordinary yet extraordinary moments with your neurodivergent child, comment below, and follow me for more blogs!

    Better yet, why not check out my online store, BellaZinga (inspired by my daughter and her neverending one-liners) for some merch with a side of neurodivergent sass? While you’re there, you can download my eBook “Friends Beyond Differences: Embracing Neurodiversity.” 

    It’s an engaging guide written specifically for neurotypical kids aged 6-12 to help them understand and embrace their neurodiverse peers.

    And remember, our differences make us unique, but our humanity binds us together. Let’s ensure every child, regardless of their neurotype, feels accepted, loved, and capable of dancing their own unique rhythm.

    Shine on, my beautiful neurodiverse kiddos.

    Shine on.

  • Unleashing the Power of SEO: Tips and Tactics for Boosting Your Website Ranking

    Unleashing the Power of SEO: Tips and Tactics for Boosting Your Website Ranking

    TL;DR: How can you leverage SEO to rank higher and see more traffic?

    1. SEO is key for visibility – look at both on-page elements (quality, structure of content) and off-page factors (backlinks, social media). 

    2. Do research to identify and use the right keywords: include them in titles, descriptions, headings, and content. 

    3. Your content must provide answers to questions and be geographically tailored for local businesses. 

    4. Monitor progress – avoid keyword stuffing and improper use. Stay up-to-date with relevant trends.

    You’ve finally finished setting up your website and are celebrating your accomplishment. As well you should! Unfortunately, having a website is not enough. If your goal is to see more traffic on your site and stand heads and shoulders above the crowd, you must make your site visible to search engines. 

    This is where SEO comes in. 

    Search engine optimization (SEO), is the umbrella term for strategies that will increase a website’s ranking in search engine results pages. Put simply, the higher you rank, the more visitors you’ll get.  

    Even more enlightening (and anxiety-inducing), research shows you will lose 99% of potential online customers if you fail to appear at the top of search engine results pages (SERPs). 

    The million-dollar question is: how do you unleash the power of SEO? 

    In this article, we’ll share tips and tricks for boosting your website’s ranking. Whether you are a content writer, a digital marketer, or own your own business, these strategies will increase your website’s visibility and drive more traffic. So, let’s get started and unlock the full potential of SEO!

    Source: Unsplash

    What is SEO and Why is it Important?

    Let’s start at the beginning. The letters SEO mean search engine optimization and describe the process of optimizing – think of it as improving – your website to rank higher on SERPs. People searching the web for services or products stand a better chance of discovering your website if it ranks higher.  

    SEO is crucial because it helps increase your website’s visibility and drive more traffic. Of course, the optimal result of this strategy is more leads, and eventually dollars, for your business. There are two main types of SEO: on-page and off-page.

    • On-page SEO refers to the quality of content on your site and how it is structured. Basically, anything you can do within your site to improve your rankings.
    • Off-page SEO speaks to external factors, such as backlinks, guest blogs, brand mentions, and social media marketing.

    Both types of SEO are essential and work together to improve your website’s ranking, so you should give both equal weights as you learn the ropes; we’ll cover these in more depth later.

    Understanding Search Engine Algorithms

    To better allow search engines to “see” your website, learning how algorithms work is priority one. Search engines use complex mathematical formulas to determine the usefulness, quality, and relevance of a website’s content. 

    These algorithms consider various factors, such as backlinks and user experience. Some search engines, like Google, use as many as 200 ranking factors in their algorithms!

    One of the most integral elements of search engine algorithms is to take into account keywords. These are terms and phrases utilized by users when searching online for data, services, or merchandise.

    A guaranteed way to get detected by search engine algorithms is to use relevant keywords – always in an organic way – in your website content.

    However, take note that search engine algorithms are constantly changing and evolving. Repeating past efforts is no guarantee of future success in SEO. That’s why staying up-to-date with the latest trends and best practices is important.

    Keyword Research and Analysis

    Just when you believed you’d never have to return to school, SEO reels you back in (sorry). Research, particularly researching relevant keywords for your website content, will now be your new favourite pastime. 

    By figuring out what keywords your target audience is searching for, you can enhance your website’s content, rank higher on SERPs, and, ultimately, make more money. After all, that is the goal, right?

    Don’t fret if this looks confusing; there are many online tools to aid you with keyword research, such as Google Keyword Planner and Semrush. These tools allow you to identify relevant keywords and analyze their search volume, competition, and relevance.

    Once you’ve identified your target keywords, you can start tweaking your website’s content to include them. Remember to avoid keyword stuffing; quality content is more important than just adding keywords willy-nilly, but more on that later. 

    When adding keywords, make sure to include them in your website’s meta titles, descriptions, headings, and not just the content.

    On-Page Optimization Techniques

    Just like it sounds, on-page optimization refers to upgrading your website’s content and structure, in other words, improving the organization and content of each page. You can use many on-page strategies to enhance your SERP rankings.

    An effective – and sometimes under-rated – on-page optimization technique is to leverage your website’s meta titles and descriptions. Here’s a brief description of each:

    • Meta title. Also known as a title tag, this briefly summarizes what your page is about and will display as a clickable headline in results pages.
    • Meta description. Occurring after your page title in the SERPs, this is a more extended summary of your page or post. The optimal suggested length for these descriptions is approximately 155 characters.

     By optimizing these elements for relevant keywords, you can improve your website’s visibility and attract more traffic.

    Another critical on-page strategy is to optimize your website’s headings. Headings are the titles of your site’s sections or pages, and by incorporating the pertinent keywords into them, you will rank higher in searches.

    Off-Page Optimization Techniques

    Off-page optimization refers to leveraging external factors, such as backlinks and social media signals to gain more exposure for your business. While it might seem like these conditions are out of your control, don’t lose hope. There are many tactics you can employ to maximize your off-page SEO.

    One effective off-page optimization technique is link building. Link building is obtaining backlinks to your site from other websites. Backlinks are helpful because they signal to search engines that your content is credible.

    And, of course, you can’t forget the power of social media marketing. Simply by promoting your website on social media platforms, you can attract more traffic and improve your website’s visibility. This is where your kid’s knowledge of TikTok may come in handy!

    Source: Pexels

    The Importance of Content in SEO

    High-quality, relevant content will always reign supreme in the SEO kingdom. Search engines prioritize websites that provide the best and most current information to their users, so it’s essential you are always thinking of the value you are supplying to potential customers. 

    Think of it like this. Users visit your site for a reason. They may have a problem your service or product can solve, or your article can help answer a question for them. 

    You must post content that can solve visitors’ problems and answer their questions clearly and expertly with the most up-to-date and engaging information possible. And don’t forget about grammar and spelling!

    Sound like a tall order? It is, but with consistent research and practice, we know it’ll be a piece of cake.

    Tips for Creating SEO-Friendly Content

    Here’s a quick summary of tips for creating SEO-friendly content we’ve covered so far, as well as a few more to set you on the path to success:

    • Use relevant keywords in titles, meta tags, headings, and content
    • Write high-quality, informative content that provides value to your users
    • Use headings and subheadings to organize your posts and pages
    • Play with article length to rank higher on  SERPs
    • Include images and videos to make your information more engaging
    • Use internal linking to connect related content on your website

    Incorporating these suggestions will raise your content game and increase your website’s credibility. Win-win all around.

    Link Building Strategies

    As we mentioned earlier, link building is an essential off-page optimization technique. Here are some link-building strategies you can use to improve your website’s ranking on search engine results pages:

    • Guest blogging on relevant websites
    • Creating high-quality, shareable content
    • Searching for broken links on other sites and asking if you can provide your own links
    • Participating in online forums and communities
    • Forging relationships with other websites in your industry
    • Creating infographics and other visual content that can be shared on social media

    Link building may take some effort and focus, but you will reap a return on your investment with more traffic, more leads and make more sales as a result.

    Local SEO Tactics

    If you service local clientele, local SEO is the way to go – yes, we’re poets, and we don’t even know it –  to attract even more customers from your area. The only difference between regular SEO and local SEO is geography. 

    In a nutshell, by using local SEO, you’re improving your website so you’ll show up on SERPs for your area. Why not try these tactics to improve your website’s ranking in your neighbourhood:

    Don’t forget about local businesses in your SEO efforts; it’s a customer demographic you don’t want to miss out on. 

    Measuring and Tracking Your SEO Progress

    To determine if all your SEO efforts have been successful, it’s essential to measure and track your journey. Many tools exist online to track a website’s ranking, traffic, and other metrics. 

    Google Analytics and Semrush are two popular platforms you can use to track progress and adjust your plan accordingly.

    Common SEO Mistakes to Avoid

    Let’s revisit common SEO mistakes we’ve covered so you know what you should avoid:

    • Stuffing your content with irrelevant keywords
    • Ignoring on-page optimization techniques
    • Focusing too much on link building and neglecting other aspects of SEO
    • Creating low-quality, spammy backlinks
    • Neglecting local SEO tactics if you have a local business

    Before implementing any of the tips and tactics in this article, make sure to audit your website and eliminate any of these issues that might hamper your SEO results.

    Is it Time for You to SEO Your Website?

    SEO is essential for improving your website’s visibility and driving more traffic. By following the tips and tricks outlined in this article, you can unleash the full power of SEO and improve your website’s ranking on search engine results pages. 

    Remember to stay up-to-date with the latest SEO trends and best practices, and track your progress to identify areas where you need to improve. With a solid SEO strategy in place, you can attract more leads and sales for your business.

    Let me know if this article helped your business by commenting or following my blog.

    I’m available to write articles on just about any topic under the sun, so feel free to contact me if you’re looking for a dependable, adaptable content writer!

  • The Power of Perseverance: You Have What It Takes, Don’t Give Up!

    The Power of Perseverance: You Have What It Takes, Don’t Give Up!

    Lately, it feels like the world is against me. Whatever I do seems to result in failure: whether it be parenting, job-hunting, writing, or self-care. Anxiety and stress are my constant companions, and I sometimes wonder how I don’t just give up.

    Goddess knows there have been times I wanted it all to stop. But something always keeps me holding on, moving forward, and grinding harder. Honestly, it’s hard to put my finger on what keeps me going.

    Certainly, my child is a significant factor. After all, as a single mom, I’m all she’s got. Add to that her special needs, making it even more crucial that I persevere when it all gets dark.

    So what is it?

    It comes to me as I sit and analyze my thoughts and feelings. I somehow ALWAYS find the tiniest glimmer of hope. Whether that looks like a new idea to make money, a day spent saying FUCK IT to the rules and just playing and connecting emotionally with my daughter, or just sitting outside and listening to the wind. 

    I’ve always found hope when I needed it. Sometimes it came to me in disguise, but I always recognized it. How can you find hope? Here’s what worked for me.

    Source: Pexels

    1. Embrace Failure: It’s Not the End, It’s Just a New Beginning

    As a lifelong figure skater and coach, I’m no stranger to failure. But here’s the truth – I’m not afraid to fail. I’ve fallen and failed at learning new skills more times than I can count – literally thousands of times. 

    But each fall has only made me stronger. Remember, it doesn’t matter that you fall; what truly matters is that you get back up. 

    2. Perfection is Overrated: Let it Go

    I’ve learned to let go of being perfect. For ages, I felt I needed to be the ideal coach, friend, mom, and person. If I’m honest, I still hold myself to that standard at times before I catch myself.

    Perfectionism is a trap that prevents us from making progress. It can make us scared to try new things and keep us stuck in our comfort zones. Don’t let the idea of perfection hold you back. Embrace your flaws; they make you uniquely you!

    3. Understanding Your Feelings: Your Emotions Are Your Guide, Not Your Enemy

    As women in the workplace – and, let’s face it, the world – we’ve been conditioned to believe showing or even acknowledging our emotions are a sign of weakness. I think our emotions make us more self-aware and more resilient.

    Your feelings are valid, and it’s essential to understand and manage them so you can use them to your advantage. I’ve learned to sit with my feelings instead of running from them. This helps me understand what’s going on inside, and from there, I can find ways to deal with it.

    4. Prioritize Self-Care: You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup

    I know, I know. Self-care, blah, blah, blah. Take time for yourself, blah, blah, blah. I get it. As a single mom fighting every day just to put food on the table, I’m supposed to find time for a bubble bath somehow? Think smaller.

    Taking time for self-care can often feel selfish, but you must make it non-negotiable. Even small things like listening to an audiobook as you do the dishes, watching Vanderpump Rules and doing laundry and housework during commercials – OMG SCANDOVAL!!! – or walking in nature for 5 minutes can help recharge our batteries and renew our hope. Plus, let’s keep it real, if Vanderpump Rules doesn’t make you feel better about your life choices right now, nothing will.

    5. Seek Support: You Don’t Have To Do It Alone

    Reach out to people who understand what you’re going through. Whether it’s a family member, friend, or a supportive online community, don’t hesitate to seek help. You’re not alone in this journey. 

    Remember, your story isn’t over yet. There’s always a new chapter to be written. So, hold on to that glimmer of hope and keep moving forward because you’re stronger than you think.

    For inspiration and motivational content, check out my website, named after my kiddo, BellaZinga, for on-demand printables and clothing. You can follow my blog at MomCoachBoss, or subscribe to my YouTube channel, JWCoach4Life. (Just don’t hold my bad hair days against me!) 

    We’re all in this together; keep the faith and never give up.

    If you or anyone you love is struggling or thinking about suicide, there are great resources here:

    https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/mental-health-services/mental-health-get-help.html

    Home
    PROVINCIAL MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORTS

    Please feel free to share your stories of inspiration in the comments!

  • Checkout Challenges: With a Healthy Dose of Gaslighting

    Checkout Challenges: With a Healthy Dose of Gaslighting

    So, a thing happened to me yesterday.

    In the grand scheme of things, it might not seem like a big deal, but the proverbial straw broke my back. As I sit, shaking, in the throes of my 5th panic attack since it happened – and desperately hoping that writing this blog is distraction enough to help me gain control – I’m still attempting to process it all.

    Photo courtesy of Hawaii News Now

    But first, a little background for those who don’t know me well

    I’m the full-time single momma to a whip-smart, precocious, multi-talented child who also happens to be on the spectrum, has ADHD and struggles with anxiety. This weekend has been a great weekend for her and, therefore, for me. 

    We went to see Avatar on Friday night with a friend from her old dance studio. To see them connect, share stories, support each other, and have a real-life give-and-take exchange (rare and difficult for some kiddos on the spectrum) warmed my heart and gave me hope.

    You see, while she has a few friends at school, I don’t consider them the best types of friends. Although considered her bestie, one, in particular, is not the most supportive, often putting my daughter or her interests down and ignoring her to be on her own device when she comes over for a sleepover.

    The reason I explain this is that context matters

    Context is key to understanding someone’s mental state in time. We all know this; how many “Bell Let’s Talk” days have we been subjected to? (Don’t get me into the hypocrisy behind this particular company talking about mental health issues; I’ve chosen to separate the source from the message and appreciate the attempt to raise awareness).

    The point is, it’s been an awful few months for us. My poor kiddo was sick repeatedly in the fall, and just when we thought she was out of the woods, BOOM, she got ill again within the first week back to school after the winter break.

    That enough can be exhausting for single parents doing their best to work, care for their sick children, and attempt to care for themselves (I was sick too).

    Add to this school avoidance, executive function issues out the wahoo, a ramping up of all sorts of sensitivities due to adolescence and hormones kicking in, multiple physical symptoms of anxiety that put my daughter in pain nearly 90% of the time, and of course, ever constant bullying and social isolation from so-called friends.

    I did the best I could to support her

    All through these issues, as I’ve done her entire life, I’ve done my best to “see” my daughter. My goal is to accept her differences, applaud her strengths, acknowledge her anxieties and give her strategies to help her cope with them. It’s not easy, and more often than not, I become her emotional trash can, where she spews out her anger, frustration or inability to control her environment at me.

    When you deal with an hour of school avoidance behaviour, including begging, crying, screaming, slamming doors, self-harm, tummy aches, headaches, dizziness, aggression, insults, and yes, sometimes physical attacks on me (she doesn’t mean it, at the moment she doesn’t know how to find a suitable outlet for her frustration) ….it becomes traumatic, both for her and for me.

    And before anyone offers help. Yes, I am connected to resources and have read many books on strategies to deal with these behaviours. But knowledge is one thing; living with it is something entirely different.

    Photo courtesy of Supportiv

    I now understand that many mothers of autistic children suffer from PTSD 

    I couldn’t figure out why I had been so sad and disaffected lately. Yes, it’s been difficult, but many good things have happened lately, too. I’ve been practicing my gratitude; I got a new, better-paying job and have multiple coping strategies at my fingertips.

    But I’m fatigued all the time. I feel like I’m slipping into a depressive fog again where all I want to do is stay in bed where it’s warm, and I don’t have to deal with anything. I’m trying to find time to get out, even to just go for a walk, but between trying to balance my job with my child’s needs, sometimes it can be challenging to find the time for showering.

    Then I started learning about something called hypervigilance. Basically, it’s the state of being ultra-alert, constantly assessing the environment for threats, even when there are none.

    This should start to sound familiar to any mom out there who’s had a child get sick. It’s the feeling of sleeping with one eye and one ear open in case you have to run to the hospital.

    For the moms of neurodivergent children, hypervigilance goes into overdrive. Anything and everything can be a trigger for a meltdown. What if her anxiety is so bad that she can’t last all day at school? Will I have to go pick her up? How do I make sure I’m available to do that? 

    She’s at a sleepover, but I know she won’t eat the food. She’s losing weight drastically, so I have to pack her a cooler of foods she’ll eat and follow up to ensure that’s been made accessible to her throughout the night.

    She’s away for a class trip, the first one she went on without you (because you’re desperately trying to foster independence), but you get a call from the parent chaperone. You must listen to her hyperventilating and freaking out on the phone as they struggle to calm her down.

    The list is long y’all, and if it’s hard for me, imagine how difficult these things are for my daughter. This permanent state of constantly assessing possible danger can lead to trauma responses similar to those in combat. 

    Of course, parental judgment comes into play too

    Now factor in that we live with my parents (thank god, because I don’t know how we’d make it otherwise), and while they don’t help much with her actual childcare as they are older and she can be a lot to deal with, the financial support has meant the world to us.

    This is why it’s so difficult when they, particularly my father, disagree with how I parent her or even acknowledge that her differences require different parenting techniques than neurotypical children.

    There is judgment in some way or form every single day. (although I have to admit, my mom has come a long way in educating herself and acceptance!) Add to that the fact that I, myself, have never felt that I fit in with my family, and the psychological stress of attempting to be a positive emotional support for my daughter when she needs it often leaves me in a state of burnout. 

    I’m afraid to speak out about what happened to me yesterday since I know my parents will not back me up.

    You see, the overarching narrative about me in my family is that I am “too”

    Too much. Too sensitive. Too outspoken. Too blunt. Too soft. Too psychological. Too analytical. Too much of an activist. Too liberal. Too….too…too…

    After a while, you believe that there is something wrong with you. And that adds to the endless pile of crap I have to wade through daily.

    Finally, on to the main event

    Now that you have the set-up of the scene and are aware that because of my circumstances, I was feeling exhausted and emotionally numb before even entering my local store, it might help to understand better.

    I needed to buy a few grocery items, including lactose-free chocolate milk, and this store is one of the few places that carry this particular brand. (my kiddo will drink nothing else, of course)

    I’ve grown up in the same village, and this store is a mainstay for the locals. My mother alone spends literally thousands yearly (she loves grocery shopping, it’s her happy place), and I even used to work there many years ago.

    Of course, I can’t afford to shop there much for my larger shopping hauls, as it’s just too expensive, but it’s been drummed into my head by my parents that you need to support local businesses, and I feel I have to shop there because of this mantra.

    Plus, everyone is super lovely, and the produce is excellent, so there’s that

    So I quickly walked around the store, smiling at patrons, receiving smiles back, and lining up to pay at the checkout. I am always kind, saying my please, excuse me’s and thank-you’s to people when they move for me, letting people with less cut in front of me, and in general, trying to take up as little space as possible.

    I could feel my anxiety build as I got up to the belt and started unloading my groceries. Like every other store, it is now our job to bag our own groceries, which I don’t mind; in fact, I enjoy piecing together groceries in their proper place; it’s like a game.

    The problem is the time factor. I always feel rushed. No matter how fast I bag my groceries, the check-out person always waits for me to pay.

    So then I’m thinking, do I pay first, then finish bagging? At Walmart, there are two areas to bag groceries per station, so even if I’m not done, there is still room for the next person to start.

    But at our local store, there is zero room for anyone to start processing their order until you have entirely bagged and removed your groceries from the counter. So what often happens is you are left to furiously finish as the cashier tells you your total and stares at you expectantly – just waiting.

    It is during this phase that my anxiety really ramps up. I can feel myself starting to sweat, knowing everyone is waiting for me. I try to go faster, but no matter how fast I go, I can’t bag in time for people NOT. TO. WAIT.

    By now, my heart is pumping so furiously I feel like people should be able to see it pulsing from my chest, I am hyperventilating, and those steel bands clap around my chest – getting tighter and tighter. I feel like a cornered animal. I know this is me perceiving threats when there are none, aside from perhaps broken societal expectations, and I can usually deal with it.

    Except for today.

    Suddenly, the gentleman who is next in line walks up to where the debit machine is (where I have to go back to pay still) and flourishes his shopping bag open with a flick of his hand as if to say, “come on, let’s get this show on the road.”

    Seriously, it’s like he was challenging me to a duel a la Princess Bride. 

    I haven’t even paid yet, I’m still doing my best to go fast, and of course, the young man at cash is just standing there, doing nothing to help, and eying me expectantly.

    I’m so astonished at this level of passive-aggressiveness that I half-jokingly say, “geez, rush me, why don’t you.”

    The customer thinks I’m joking, so he laughs. And I quickly finish and walk back to the POS to pay with my debit card. 

    He doesn’t move. He stands there, just off my left elbow, where he can see my debit information and within my personal space. I’m now full-on triggered.

    I turn to him, put up both hands spread in front of me and say, in a loud and commanding voice, (I don’t think I shouted, but I was emphatic):

    “Please, could you give me some personal space? I wasn’t kidding; I’m feeling very stressed and anxious right now.”

    Photo courtesy of Discovery Mood & Anxiety Program

    Stillness. It’s as if I’ve murdered someone. I am looked at like I’m the one with the issue.

    He laughs, maintains his smile, and walks back to the end of the counter where his wife is waiting.

    I finish my transaction, and as I grab my cart full of groceries and prepare to exit the store, I hear him say, “nope, I’d better wait so I don’t get in trouble.”

    Then the cashier laughs with him and  responds, “I think you’re safe now.” They both laugh again. 

    As I leave the store, over and over, I hear them mocking me as I try to control my tears.

    I’m still struggling to process it all

    When I got home, I knew I had to be alone to digest what had just happened and not worry about my kiddo seeing me like I was. I walked outside, careful to be out of view from any windows, and had a 45-minute panic attack, sobbing, hyperventilating, rocking, and all the other hallmarks of these oh-so-familiar events.

    When I had pulled myself together and entered the adrenaline hang-over stage of the attack, I went back to the car and unpacked my groceries.

    I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. 

    I would never intrude on another person’s space like that or make them feel hurried or rushed. To me, that’s the ultimate unkindness. 

     I also felt I was within my right to ask for personal space to keep my banking information safe and to help me feel less threatened.

    Could I have done it in a more pleasant tone of voice? Maybe. But I was in the grip of anxiety, which I did my best to explain.

    And yet I was mocked for it. And the cashier joined in. Not one person in that store showed me kindness or empathy.

    Would this have been different if I had not been a woman? I can’t help thinking that this was gaslighting behaviour at its best, telling me I was crazy because I voiced my distress and my limitations.

    The parallels between so many other people dealing with mental illness are hard to ignore, as are the parallels between women standing up for themselves throughout history and being victimized because of it.

    Either way, I’m now coming down from my fifth panic attack since it occurred. I’ve gone back and forth between calling the manager to complain or even posting on Facebook. But the problem is, it’s a small community, and I can tell you that if my parents found out, they would not support me in speaking up for myself. 

    And, of course, I would, MOST CERTAINLY, be labelled as difficult.

    And that’s a shitty feeling. But what I can do, and do well, is write about my experience. I’ll do it anonymously if possible (cowardly, I know!), but I want to let anyone else know when and if they go through these experiences:

    I SEE YOU. You aren’t alone. And no one has the right to make you feel crazy or less than for setting your limits. For being outspoken for yourself or others. For having an opinion that doesn’t fit within the status quo.

    Well, what d’ya know…it worked! My heart rate is back to normal; my breathing has returned to shallow and (somewhat) even breaths.

    Turns out blogging might be an excellent panic-attack strategy after all.

    Have you ever experienced anything like this? Let me know in the comments, and share your story to help others!

  • ADHD Symptoms You Might Not Know About

    ADHD Symptoms You Might Not Know About

    It’s been another tough week for my neurodivergent kiddo. Well, if I’m being truthful, it’s been a difficult few months capping off a lifetime of difficulties. From her feelings of isolation to medication moodiness, school avoidance, and everything in between, it sometimes feels like she’s always swimming upstream, and I’m powerless to help her.

    So, I decided to hit up my trusty laptop and use my voice to hopefully make the world a little more educated about the troubles children like my daughter endure. My hope is by providing information about conditions like ADHD and ASD, I might help the world be a kinder, more accepting place for my daughter and other children like her. 

    I decided to start with ADHD, as I feel this is a disorder that many people don’t take seriously enough. As a figure skating coach with thirty years of experience, I can attest to the lack of training and understanding I had when I was coaching. And I can attest to the tone-deaf techniques and coaching methods still used today for kids that think differently.

    Given that ADHD affects between 5%-9% of all children and 3%-5% of all adults, we all need to do our part to learn how to help and support those suffering from this chronic disorder. In this blog, we’ll look at some of the lesser-known symptoms of ADHD that you might not know about. 

    So, buckle up, and let’s get started!

    A Quick Refresher

    Are you familiar with ADHD? Well, if you’re not, here’s a quick primer. ADHD stands for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects your ability to focus and stay on task. 

    It’s caused by a mix of environmental and genetic factors. It can cause executive functioning, working memory, organization, and emotional regulation deficits. When it comes to what regular people know about ADHD, the most common symptom is hyperactivity. 

    This is because it’s the most visible symptom and often leads to disruptive behaviors in the classroom (and elsewhere!). But there’s more to ADHD than hyperactivity; other symptoms include difficulty with procrastination, impulsivity, inattention, and forgetfulness. 

    So, now that you have a refresher on what ADHD is, let’s get into the lesser-known symptoms you might not be aware of.

    8 Lesser Known Symptoms of ADHD

    We all know about the difficulty regulating attention and the hyperactivity that often comes with ADHD (at least, you should by now unless you’ve been hanging out under a rock?), but there are so many other challenges presented by this condition. 

    Let’s examine some of them in more detail; after all, the more you know…

    1. Time Blindness

    People with ADHD focus on the NOW to the exclusion of everything else. This is because their brains have difficulty processing time as a concept, leading to a condition called “time blindness.” 

    Its symptoms include: 

    • Being unable to tell time so that appointments and deadlines are forgotten or arrive unexpectedly 
    • Difficulty organizing tasks in a logical order 
    • Not being able to anticipate the future or plan ahead 
    • Feeling as if time is passing too quickly or too slowly 
    • Difficulty with transitions and moving on to the next activity 

    Time blindness is more than just bad timing; it’s a severe impairment that can lead to procrastination, missed deadlines, and a lot of frustration. 

    If your ears are perking up at any of these behaviours, reach out to your doctor about ways to manage time blindness. Taking this issue seriously is essential because it can considerably impact your life.

    1. Executive Function Disorder

    Ah, executive function disorder. It’s the bane of many people’s existence, yet few know what it is. Executive function disorder (EFD) is a symptom of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder that hampers the ability to plan, organize, and manage tasks. 

    What is executive function?

    Executive function disorder is an ADHD symptom that is often overlooked. It’s like the forgotten stepchild of ADHD — but don’t worry, it can still get all the attention it needs. It might make it easier to define executive function as the ability to get stuff done.

    EFD affects the brain’s ability to plan, organize, and complete tasks. It’s as if the brain is constantly saying, “I’m not sure what to do next!” To put it in simple terms, imagine having a bunch of little elves in your head, all running around in different directions, and none of them know what they’re doing!

    What causes EFD?

    The root cause of EF disorder is an imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain. Basically, the brain isn’t firing off the right signals to the right parts of the brain. This can lead to needing help staying focused, organizing thoughts, and completing tasks.

    For those with EFD, tasks that may seem easy to others can feel like monumental challenges. It’s easy to get frustrated and overwhelmed when you just can’t keep up with the demands of daily life. 

    Psst…remember this the next time you feel your blood pressure rise when your child’s room looks like a warzone yet again. They actually have a brain-based reason for struggling to clean their room. 

    But it’s important to remember that EFD is manageable. With the proper correct accommodations and strategies, you can learn to manage your child’s symptoms and help them live a successful life.

    1. Social Anxiety

    Another symptom you may not be so familiar with is social anxiety. That’s right—ADHD can actually cause social anxiety. If you have ADHD, you may be hyper-aware of your surroundings, causing you to be highly anxious in social situations. 

    You might be more self-conscious than usual and worry that everyone is judging you or watching your every move. Or, you might have trouble interpreting social cues, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language, making it challenging to “fit in” with your peers. This social anxiety can be tough on kids and teens. 

    They’re already dealing with the stress of growing up, and this extra layer of anxiety can be overwhelming. Fortunately, with effort and learned strategies, anxiety can be managed. Working with a trained professional to develop coping skills and learning how to better regulate your emotions can make a huge difference. 

    4. Trouble Getting to Sleep

    Sleep issues are a common symptom of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder that often go unnoticed. While it’s well-known that people with ADHD have difficulty concentrating and staying focused, many don’t realize that these issues can affect their sleeping patterns. 

    Struggling to sleep is a common issue for those with ADHD, but it can be especially problematic for those who don’t realize why they’re having trouble. Whether it’s due to racing thoughts, difficulty winding down, or an inability to “shut off” their mind, those with ADHD often find themselves in a catch-22 when it comes to getting a good night’s rest. 

    Don’t fret; there are plenty of strategies to help those with ADHD get to sleep more easily. Whether setting a strict bedtime routine, sticking to a regular sleep schedule, or even taking medication, there are many ways to get the restful sleep you need. So don’t let ADHD stop you from getting the rest you deserve!

    1. Poor Working Memory

    If you think ADHD only affects kids in the classroom, you better think again! Poor working memory—one of the lesser-known symptoms of ADHD—can cause significant problems for adults, too. It’s not just about forgetting your car keys or where you left your phone. 

    Poor working memory can affect your ability to remember instructions, recall details, and complete tasks. If your career requires you to juggle multiple tasks, this can be a real problem. 

    Again, this is where proper tactics and techniques can help improve your working memory. Things like breaking down large tasks into smaller steps, using lists to keep track of what you need to do, and using reminders (like notes or alarms) can all help you stay organized and on-task. 

    If you think poor working memory might be the culprit behind your disorganization or difficulty completing tasks, it’s worth talking to a doctor or therapist about your symptoms. With appropriate strategies and support, you can find ways to manage your ADHD and get back on track.

    1. Emotional Dysregulation

    The typical picture in everyone’s minds when they think of ADHD, is of kids bouncing off the walls, not being able to sit still, and having difficulty focusing. But what many people don’t realize is that kids with ADHD can also have trouble regulating their emotions. 

    So, what exactly is emotional dysregulation? Basically, it’s when someone’s emotions are all out of whack. They might feel overwhelmed, sad, angry, or all of the above, and they don’t have the tools to calm themselves down. 

    This is known as emotional dysregulation, which can be incredibly difficult for kids (and adults!) to manage.

    What is emotional dysregulation? 

    This condition can lead to outbursts, meltdowns, and other disruptive behaviours. It’s important to note that emotional dysregulation isn’t a character flaw; it’s a symptom of ADHD. It happens because of how the brain is wired, meaning it’s not something the person can control. 

    That’s why it’s essential to find strategies to help kids with ADHD manage their emotions. Some approaches to help kids with ADHD regulate their emotions include:

    • Deep breathing
    • Taking a break
    • Distraction
    • Mindfulness exercises
    • Talking through their feelings
    • Exercise

    Another great tip is to create a plan for handling big emotions in advance so that everyone knows what to do when they feel overwhelmed. 

    Emotional dysregulation can be incredibly difficult to manage, but it is possible. With the right tools, kids with ADHD can learn to regulate their emotions and lead happy balanced lives.

    1. Poor Self-Esteem

    It’s not news to anyone that having ADHD can significantly impact one’s self-esteem. From the constant barrage of criticism from teachers, peers, and even family members for not living up to their expectations to the inner dialogue of self-doubt and feeling like you’re just not good enough, having ADHD can take a toll on one’s self-confidence. 

    But what causes poor self-esteem in those with ADHD, and how can parents and caregivers help their children feel better about themselves? 

    One of the most critical components of low self-esteem in those with ADHD is feeling “less than.” Whether at school, the arena, or even among peers, those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder often feel less intelligent, talented, or capable than those around them. 

    This feeling of inadequacy can be exacerbated by their difficulty completing tasks or performing to the same level as their peers, leading to a downward spiral of negative self-talk and self-doubt. 

    Luckily, there are steps caregivers can take to help their child cope with and manage the feelings of low self-esteem associated with ADHD. 

    • First, it’s important to recognize that it’s not the child’s fault—it’s the ADHD. 
    • Acknowledge that your child is doing their best and that trying their best is enough. 
    • Next, focus on their strengths and successes, no matter how small. It helps to build their confidence and reminds them that they are capable. 
    • Finally, encourage them to set realistic goals for themselves and celebrate the small steps they take toward reaching those goals. 

    With patience, understanding, and a little love, you can help your child with ADHD find self-confidence and feel better about themselves.

    8. Trouble Getting Out of the Zone

    It’s no secret that the symptoms of ADHD disrupt lives, but there’s one symptom that often goes overlooked: zoning out. You know how it goes—you’re in the middle of a conversation, and suddenly you’re lost in thought, only to come back to reality with no clue what the other person just said. 

    What is zoning out?

    While zoning out is common in everyone, it can be a particularly frustrating symptom of ADHD. So, what is zoning out? It’s a distraction period that can last from a few moments to a few hours. It’s like a mini-escape from reality that can happen without warning. 

    During this time, you can be unresponsive and unaware of your surroundings, and it can be hard to snap out of it. 

    Why do you zone out?

    So, what causes zoning out? It has many triggers, including boredom, fatigue, or overwhelming emotions. It can also be a sign of a more serious underlying condition, such as depression or anxiety. 

    Here are some ways to prevent or lessen your “zone-out time” each day:

    • Taking consistent, daily time-outs can help reduce fatigue and give your brain a chance to recover. 
    • Being mindful of your emotions can also help. If you notice the overwhelm taking over, draw a few deep breaths and focus on the present moment. 
    • Finally, talking to a professional can help you better understand the underlying cause of the zoning out and provide you with helpful strategies to manage it. 

    Zoning out may not be the most disruptive of the ADHD symptoms, but it can still be a source of frustration. Understanding what causes it and how to manage it can help prevent it from becoming a problem.

    Now You Know a Little More About ADHD

    It’s clear that ADHD presents itself in many different forms, and it can be challenging to identify the symptoms in yourself or a loved one. But now that you know more about what it looks like, you’re in a better position to recognize and help those in need. 

    If you or someone you know is living with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, it’s vital to seek help and resources to better manage the condition. No one should have to suffer through the symptoms of ADHD alone, so take the time to do your research and find the right support network. 

    Remember, the more you know about ADHD, the better equipped you are to help those around you. So take the time to learn more about this complex condition and how you can help those living with it.